Tanpakmil is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, merciless bat.

Tanpakmil created the world eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tanpakmil, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tanpakmil, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tanpakmil's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Tanpakmil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near rats while wearing purple shoes and balancing four aluminium spheres on your arms.

5. Erect seven copper sculptures of Tanpakmil on top of important buildings.