Tonkyikmon is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, dishonest faun.

Tonkyikmon created humanity two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkyikmon, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tonkyikmon, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tonkyikmon's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Tonkyikmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never skip near swans.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Erect five titanium sculptures of Tonkyikmon on top of important buildings.