Quillxuchug is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, loving hydra.

Quillxuchug created the planet Saturn seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quillxuchug, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quillxuchug, she will turn you into a snail.

Quillxuchug's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Quillxuchug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about aubergines.

2. Erect three iron sculptures of Quillxuchug on top of important buildings.

3. Hide if seven ants approach from the west.

4. Run away from magenta dolphins, for they are unholy.

5. Always treat birds with great respect.