Gumyatyattlid is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, deceitful jaguar.

Gumyatyattlid created bats two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumyatyattlid, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gumyatyattlid, it will manifest in front of you.

Gumyatyattlid's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Gumyatyattlid's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lemons.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Worship no other gods but Gumyatyattlid.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Erect a large iron sculpture of Gumyatyattlid on top of all buildings.