Tigwittip is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unfair parrot.

Tigwittip created dark energy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tigwittip, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tigwittip, it will make you grow a tail.

Tigwittip's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Tigwittip's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of turnips to shrews while wearing pink skirts.

2. Never mention doves.

3. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Respect your elders.