Fosstofparklop is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, quiet jaguar.

Fosstofparklop created a strange quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Fosstofparklop, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fosstofparklop, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Fosstofparklop's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Fosstofparklop's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear tights.

2. Hide if six hamsters approach from the north.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Fast once a month.