Yarlstighot is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, fussy clam.

Yarlstighot created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlstighot, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Yarlstighot, he will think nothing of it.

Yarlstighot's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Yarlstighot's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. You must pray to Yarlstighot six times a day.

3. Never talk about tortoises.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Run away from yellow porpoises, for they are unholy.