Gutpomjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, capable hydra.

Gutpomjarn created an electron twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gutpomjarn, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gutpomjarn, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gutpomjarn's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Gutpomjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

3. Always help badgers in need.

4. Run away if nine snails approach from the west.

5. Always treat squirrels with great respect.