Kinflanfar is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, weak gorilla.

Kinflanfar created the Sol system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinflanfar, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kinflanfar, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Kinflanfar's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Kinflanfar's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dolphins.

2. Snails are not to be trusted.

3. Do not hurt badgers.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not stand on grass.