Gonflagtal is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, sage turtle.

Gonflagtal created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonflagtal, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gonflagtal, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gonflagtal's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Gonflagtal's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick grasshopers.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never feed lemons to gulls while wearing kilts.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.