Rutzanlabrull is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, tranquil naga.

Rutzanlabrull created dark energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutzanlabrull, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Rutzanlabrull, she will torture you forever.

Rutzanlabrull's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Rutzanlabrull's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Rutzanlabrull loves shrews, so they must be respected.

5. Never write about ribonucleic acid.