Veenyarpbisstiglathon Nurtlapdob is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, clever raccoon.

Veenyarpbisstiglathon Nurtlapdob created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenyarpbisstiglathon Nurtlapdob, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Veenyarpbisstiglathon Nurtlapdob, he will throw large rocks at you.

Veenyarpbisstiglathon Nurtlapdob's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Veenyarpbisstiglathon Nurtlapdob's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Put Veenyarpbisstiglathon Nurtlapdob first in all things.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Feed all hungry otters.