Fondussyarptif is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, confident hare.

Fondussyarptif created an electron five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fondussyarptif, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fondussyarptif, she will send minions to preach to you.

Fondussyarptif's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Fondussyarptif's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near tapirs.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.