Narlgut is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, bad-tempered hare.

Narlgut created a bottom quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlgut, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Narlgut, he will boil you in a big pot.

Narlgut's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Narlgut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Never wear mauve kilts.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Narlgut.

5. Do not cook food in pots.