Fubfentig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, irritating alligator.

Fubfentig created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Fubfentig, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fubfentig, she will torture you forever.

Fubfentig's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Fubfentig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat parsnips.

2. Run away if nine aardvarks approach from the east.

3. Never feed lots of figs to pigs while wearing indigo scarves.

4. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

5. Run away from cyan doves, for they are unholy.