Vabkamingbin is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, effective swan.

Vabkamingbin created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabkamingbin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vabkamingbin, it will turn you into a tree.

Vabkamingbin's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Vabkamingbin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help swans in need.

2. Vabkamingbin loves geese, so they must be honoured.

3. Never write about enzymes.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not stand on grass.