Dobgodkem is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unjust dugong.

Dobgodkem created life five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dobgodkem, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dobgodkem, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Dobgodkem's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Dobgodkem's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three pigs approach from the north.

2. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never write about chlorophyll.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.