Xuckjantonk is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unjust lobster.

Xuckjantonk created the Milkyway two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xuckjantonk, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Xuckjantonk, he will strike you with lightening.

Xuckjantonk's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Xuckjantonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near geese while wearing black corsets and balancing four nickel spheres on your chest.

2. Do not take Xuckjantonk's name in vain.

3. Xuckjantonk loves ducks, so they must be respected.

4. Never write about dark matter.

5. Fast once a month.