Quimtailcut is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, smart whale.

Quimtailcut created time and space four billion years ago.

If you believe in Quimtailcut, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quimtailcut, it will turn you into a hamster.

Quimtailcut's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Quimtailcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop near monkeys.

2. Do not kill grasshopers.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Erect a giant green sculpture of Quimtailcut in the centre of the settlement.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.