Danqueegsand is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, merciful monkey.

Danqueegsand created silver three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Danqueegsand, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Danqueegsand, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Danqueegsand's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Danqueegsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Worship no other gods but Danqueegsand.

4. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

5. Pray towards the north.