Quilldadjip is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, grumpy penguin.

Quilldadjip created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quilldadjip, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quilldadjip, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Quilldadjip's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Quilldadjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Always help gulls.

3. Run away if seven dogs approach from the north.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not drink alcohol.