Hoglabcit is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, happy hummingbird.

Hoglabcit created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hoglabcit, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hoglabcit, he will laugh at you.

Hoglabcit's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Hoglabcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to bats while wearing coats.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.