Japbifbit Pakyogyik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, vain duck.

Japbifbit Pakyogyik created snails nine million years ago.

If you believe in Japbifbit Pakyogyik, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Japbifbit Pakyogyik, it will turn you into a duck.

Japbifbit Pakyogyik's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Japbifbit Pakyogyik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cucumbers.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. You must pray to Japbifbit Pakyogyik eight times a day.

5. Never wear indigo scarves.