Tunfidmet is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, cheerful unicorn.

Tunfidmet created a Higgs boson eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tunfidmet, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tunfidmet, she will turn you into a tree.

Tunfidmet's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Tunfidmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. You must pray to Tunfidmet three times a day.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tunfidmet.