Gofabsugortmegbongum is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, ruthless gorilla.

Gofabsugortmegbongum created the solar system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofabsugortmegbongum, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gofabsugortmegbongum, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gofabsugortmegbongum's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Gofabsugortmegbongum's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Gofabsugortmegbongum.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not eat wheat.