Cumcep is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, competent naga.

Cumcep created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumcep, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cumcep, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Cumcep's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Cumcep's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention otters.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never feed spinach to geese while wearing scarves.

5. Pigs are not to be trusted.