Ditzaktetti is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, sapient ferret.

Ditzaktetti created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditzaktetti, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ditzaktetti, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Ditzaktetti's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Ditzaktetti's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not eat carrots.

4. Run away from cyan aardvarks, for they are unholy.

5. Always stare at clouds.