Karlikgeb Wotyartlap is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, compassionate tapir.

Karlikgeb Wotyartlap created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Karlikgeb Wotyartlap, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Karlikgeb Wotyartlap, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Karlikgeb Wotyartlap's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Karlikgeb Wotyartlap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Karlikgeb Wotyartlap on top of all buildings.

2. Do not take Karlikgeb Wotyartlap's name in vain.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.