Mipmutcussbarnfitstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unselfish swallow.

Mipmutcussbarnfitstaf created the Small Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Mipmutcussbarnfitstaf, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Mipmutcussbarnfitstaf, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Mipmutcussbarnfitstaf's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Mipmutcussbarnfitstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about photosynthesis.

2. Always look after injured mice.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near snakes while wearing magenta dresses and balancing eight platinum spheres on your neck.

4. Never hop in the presence of ants.

5. Do not eat cucumbers.