Lopsogveen is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, emotional gorilla.

Lopsogveen created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopsogveen, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Lopsogveen, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Lopsogveen's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Lopsogveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near dolphins while wearing green skirts and balancing eight platinum spheres on your chest.

2. You must never eat pineapples.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

5. Never eat green fruit.