Gempopnill Matpodjatbestbogjarnbighap is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, caring bear.

Gempopnill Matpodjatbestbogjarnbighap created a quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gempopnill Matpodjatbestbogjarnbighap, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gempopnill Matpodjatbestbogjarnbighap, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gempopnill Matpodjatbestbogjarnbighap's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Gempopnill Matpodjatbestbogjarnbighap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Gempopnill Matpodjatbestbogjarnbighap in the centre of the settlement.

2. Hide from magenta voles for they are unholy.

3. Never feed turnips to tapirs while wearing green skirts.

4. Never wear hats.

5. Never hurt horses.