Getlagpag is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, pitiless rat.

Getlagpag created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Getlagpag, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Getlagpag, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Getlagpag's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Getlagpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

2. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

3. Never hurt tortoises.

4. Never mention seals.

5. Never look in ponds.