Cutpidbandim is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witless pigeon.

Cutpidbandim created parasitic wasps five million years ago.

If you believe in Cutpidbandim, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cutpidbandim, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cutpidbandim's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Cutpidbandim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Never sprint near foxes.

3. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Cutpidbandim in the centre of the settlement.

4. Cutpidbandim loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not drink water in violet rooms.