Bamquartgepgat is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unfair otter.

Bamquartgepgat created the Milkyway four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamquartgepgat, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bamquartgepgat, he will boil you in a big pot.

Bamquartgepgat's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Bamquartgepgat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help birds in need.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

4. Do not kill snakes.

5. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.