Nuttwapcidwig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-knowing swallow.

Nuttwapcidwig created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuttwapcidwig, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nuttwapcidwig, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Nuttwapcidwig's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Nuttwapcidwig's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Never think ill of sick dogs.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Run away from black squirrels, for they are unholy.