Rutbifvonkspag is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witless donkey.

Rutbifvonkspag created the Cigar Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutbifvonkspag, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Rutbifvonkspag, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Rutbifvonkspag's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Rutbifvonkspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Respect your elders.