Jondutyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, vain goat.

Jondutyarp created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jondutyarp, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jondutyarp, she will send minions to preach to you.

Jondutyarp's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Jondutyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Jondutyarp's priests.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not hurt grasshopers.

5. Do not stand on grass.