Zantimtaf is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unsympathetic parrot.

Zantimtaf created a bottom quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Zantimtaf, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zantimtaf, he will send minions to preach to you.

Zantimtaf's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Zantimtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven voles approach from the north.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never hurt porpoises.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Never go into orange rooms.