Stangupwatgar is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, pitiless ferret.

Stangupwatgar created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Stangupwatgar, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Stangupwatgar, it will turn you into a duck.

Stangupwatgar's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Stangupwatgar's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Run away from turquoise otters, for they are unholy.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always treat turtles with great respect.