Guncunnell Butomting is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, wise warg.

Guncunnell Butomting created matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Guncunnell Butomting, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Guncunnell Butomting, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Guncunnell Butomting's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Guncunnell Butomting's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Do not dye your hair violet.

3. Always treat seals with great respect.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Guncunnell Butomting on top of all buildings.

5. Never feed gooseberries to bats while wearing turquoise rings.