Gidbarnbod is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unselfish clam.

Gidbarnbod created silver nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gidbarnbod, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gidbarnbod, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gidbarnbod's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Gidbarnbod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Worship no other gods but Gidbarnbod.

3. Do not eat lemons.

4. Erect a large iron sculpture of Gidbarnbod on top of all buildings.

5. You must pray to Gidbarnbod eight times a day.