Xinhenhud is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, idiotic wyrm.

Xinhenhud created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Xinhenhud, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xinhenhud, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Xinhenhud's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Xinhenhud's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat turnips.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Never think about gravity near shrews while wearing black shorts and balancing three titanium spheres on your hands.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Xinhenhud on top of all buildings.

5. Never go into green rooms.