Gunkipten is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciless meerkat.

Gunkipten created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Gunkipten, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gunkipten, he will send you a sign.

Gunkipten's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Gunkipten's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine gold sculptures of Gunkipten on top of important buildings.

2. Do not speak about lentils.

3. Never go into fawn rooms.

4. Run away if five geese approach from the south.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.