Hapmobcid Zimdadfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, calm crab.

Hapmobcid Zimdadfarn created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hapmobcid Zimdadfarn, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hapmobcid Zimdadfarn, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Hapmobcid Zimdadfarn's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Hapmobcid Zimdadfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. You must love Hapmobcid Zimdadfarn.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not stand on grass.