Parkortnib is a god.

He takes the form of a large, dishonourable eagle.

Parkortnib created a photon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkortnib, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Parkortnib, he will destroy your home solar system.

Parkortnib's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Parkortnib's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. You must love Parkortnib.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Pray towards the south.