Cebdogspag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, grumpy narwhal.

Cebdogspag created the planet Venus two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cebdogspag, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cebdogspag, he will jump up and down on your head.

Cebdogspag's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Cebdogspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always help nematodes.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.