Funkemsad is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, clever human.

Funkemsad created vertebrates five billion years ago.

If you believe in Funkemsad, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Funkemsad, he will turn you into a slug.

Funkemsad's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Funkemsad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Never go into black rooms.

5. Put Funkemsad first in all things.