Stanmidxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a large, self-assured cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Stanmidxuck created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanmidxuck, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Stanmidxuck, it will turn you into a worm.

Stanmidxuck's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Stanmidxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Erect five tin sculptures of Stanmidxuck on top of important buildings.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

5. Hide if seven turtles approach from the east.