Tarpfitfob is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, grumpy goat.

Tarpfitfob created bats three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpfitfob, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tarpfitfob, he will send you a sign.

Tarpfitfob's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Tarpfitfob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never think about optics near capybaras while wearing red shorts and balancing eight zinc spheres on your back.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Run away if seven geese approach from the south.