Zimbusarm is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, emotional hydra.

Zimbusarm created the solar system two million years ago.

If you believe in Zimbusarm, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zimbusarm, it will turn you into a plant.

Zimbusarm's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Zimbusarm's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. You must never eat figs.

5. Never talk about comets.